The Good Life

What is your purpose in life? Do you have a goal for your life? If you don’t have a goal, you might want to consider the goal that is the basis of this workbook. This workbook is based on the idea that the best goal in life anyone can have is to love and be loved.

Love is defined as the act of caring, for the purpose of creating happiness and success. There are three basic types of love: self-love, love of another, and social love. The assignments in this workbook are all about self-love, love of another and social love. You will probably notice that there are assignments that deal directly with love and relationships. It will be obvious how these assignments help you reach your life goal of loving better.

There are other assignments in this workbook that do not look like they are about love. For example, there are assignments about being responsible for managing your time. You might wonder how these articles are about love. The answer is easy. Love is an action. Sure, love might start with a feeling. But until it is expressed, it is an idea waiting to happen. The assignments that don’t seem directly related to love are indirectly related to love – these assignments help you take care of personal matters that might interfere with your ability to love.

Please be aware that if you are expecting flowery, mushy, romantic assignments on love, you won’t find them in this workbook. In this workbook, love is defined as an action with the specific goal of creating something: happiness and success. Love takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of hard work. This workbook is a blueprint for all the hard work you can do to put more love in your life. Follow the blueprint and you can be more happy and successful.

Good Life Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION
1
LETTER TO A FELLOW TRAVELER
8
HEALTHY SEXUALITY: MODULE ONE
Deviant and Healthy Sexual Behavior
9
Healthy Sexual Behavior
12
Four Types of Healthy Sexual Behavior
14
Age of Consent and Deviant Sex
17
Consent and Deviant Sex
20
Power and Deviant Sex
22
Harm and Deviant Sex
24
Your Script for Healthy Sex
26
THOUGHT PATTERNS: MODULE ONE
Thinking is the Key
27
Thinking Errors
30
Relationship Thinking Errors
33
Communication Thinking Errors
36
Self-Awareness Thinking Errors
39
Accountability Thinking Errors
42
Emotion Thinking Errors
45
Sexual Thinking Errors
47
EMOTIONS: MODULE ONE
Four Basic Emotions
50
All Emotions are a Gift
52
Three Ways to Express Emotions
54
Secret of Anger
57
The Problem with Happiness
59
Sadness
61
Fear
63
Express Emotions in a Healthy Way
65
RELATIONSHIPS: MODULE ONE
Love is the Act of Caring
67
The Inner Circle of Love
69
Boundaries in a Love Relationship
72
True Love and Falling in Love are Different
76
True Love and Romantic Love are Different
78
True Love and Dependency are Different
80
Love Requires Effort
82
How to Give Love
84
Love Creates Happiness and Success
86
Love Takes Place in a Relationship
88
The Importance of Self-Love
90
SELF-MANAGEMENT: MODULE ONE
Life is Difficult
92
Self-Management is a Skill
94
Delay of Gratification
96
Responsibility
98
Dedication to the Truth
100
Lies and Truth
102
Surrender
104
Laziness
106
Moderation
108
Collaboration
112
Conflict Management
115
HEALTHY SEXUALITY: MODULE TWO
Self-Mastery Makes a Relationship Great
118
Taking Care of Yourself
121
Self-Soothing
123
Self-Confrontation
126
Self-Mastery
129
Hugging till Relaxed
132
Your Sexual Prime
135
Eyes Open Kissing and Foreplay
138
Sizzling Sex
140
Sexual Fantasies
142
The F-Bomb
145
THOUGHT PATTERNS: MODULE TWO
Optimists and Pessimists
147
Learned Helplessness causes Pessimism and Depression
151
The Optimistic Life
154
Using Distraction to Cope with Adversity
157
Using Debate to Cope with Adversity
160
Pessimistic Thinking Errors
165
Flexible Optimism
167
EMOTIONS: MODULE TWO
What is Happiness?
170
Good Cheer is a Trait
173
How to Create Happiness
176
Circumstances that Do and Don’t Make You Happy
180
Happiness about the Past – Gratitude
183
Happiness about the Past – Forgiveness
187
Happiness about the Future
190
Happiness about the Present
194
Pleasures
197
Gratification
201
Universal Virtues
204
RELATIONSHIPS: MODULE TWO
How to Destroy Your Marriage
207
De-escalations
211
Principle One: Emotional and Intellectual Intimacy
214
Principle Two: Increase Your Fondness and Respect
217
Principle Three: Turn Toward Each Other
220
Principle Four: Let Your Partner Influence You
223
The Two Kinds of Relationship Conflict
227
Principle Five: Solve Your Solvable Problems
231
Principle Six: Overcoming Gridlock
236
Principle Seven: Create Shared Meaning
240
SELF-MANAGEMENT: MODULE TWO
Self-Management
243
Duty to Self
245
Goals and Planning
248
How to Solve Problems: The Why Sandwich
252
Behavior Cycles
257
How to Stop a Behavior Cycle
261
Coping Skills
264
Relapse Prevention
267
How to Stop a Relapse
270
MODULE EXAMS
Letter from a Fellow Traveler
273
Healthy Sexuality Module One
273
Thought Patterns Module One
274
Emotions Module One
274
Relationships Module One
275
Self-Management Module One
276
Healthy Sexuality Module Two
277
Thought Patterns Module Two
277
Emotions Module Two
278
Relationships Module Two
279
Self-Management Module Two
280